A betrothed couple were kidnapped by heathens
who married them to each other.
On their wedding night said she to him, dont
you havent given me a ketubah;
and from that day to the day he died he didnt.
At his funeral she told the assembled,
mourn this man who, even more than
controlled his desires. Joseph
never shared his bed with his temptress, but this
Joseph wasnt married to
her, but this man was.
40 bushels of grain were being sold for a dinar,
but one of them went missing.
An investigation revealed the thief and his son
had deflowered a betrothed virgin on Yom Kippur.
Father and son were caught, tried, and stoned to
and the original price was restored.
A guy whose ketubah stipulated a huge cash
wanted to divorce his wife without paying up.
So he got all his men-servants drunk, put them in
smeared egg white all over them, called witnesses,
and brought his case to court. But one of the
Baba ben Buta of the school of Shamai, said Shamai
when broiled, egg white contracts but semen
The evidence tested as predicted and the court
the fellow be flogged and pay his wife in full.
One rabbi asked another, I can see why the second and third were punished,
but why did the virtuous one have to suffer so?
Because he didnt
mourn for Jerusalem, as is written:
Rejoice with Jerusalem and be glad for her, all
who love her,
rejoice for joy with all that mourn her.
©1999, David Cooper.